January 3rd, 2003


I wrote this this afternoon. Sometime between 1 and 2. I needed to vent.

Goddamn Nutcases on the fucking bus!!!!

I swear to god, the next fucking nut-job who decides to try groping me on the bus is going to get it. I should have grabbed some of that asshole's money when he was shoving it in my face. Where the fuck did it come from anyway? I mean, the guy was far from sane. Where the fuck did he get a huge wad of twenties?!!!!

I should have started screaming at him or something. I don't know if I could have gotten him thrown off the bus. Not that the bus driver had no idea what was going on. He was looking in the rear-view mirror. He had to hear what was going on, everyone in the bus did, you couldn't help it.

Oh, and lady, I'msorry I'm not a little more appreciative towards your "The rest of us felt so sorry for you, we could feel your pain" thing. Hey lady, you were sitting right there. If you felt my pain so well, why the fuck did you pretend it wasn't happening? I don't expect anyone to help but goddammit, if you can help and don't I sure the fuck don't want your concern. That's bullshit. At least she was honest when she followed up that sentiment with, "We were also glad it was you and not us." Yeah, I could tell.

I suppose I should be glad for the help that she gave when I'd gotten off the bus and psycho-nut-job followed me screaming and she told me not to turn around and to keep walking fast. Ok, really I am more greatful that I had someone walking next to me at that point. Yeah honey, I was planning to stop and talk to this guy who went ape-shit because I politely asked him to stop touching my leg while he insisted on discussing the goddamn "story I was writing".

Yeah, this guy followed me off the bus when I got off one stop early. After going ballistic that I don't want him touching me. That's when I got scared. It's the middle of the day on a busy street and I am being followed by a lunatic. I want to find a store. I want to get to the counter and stay there and if he comes in ranting and raving he will be kicked out. Apparently he won't get kicked off a bus. Goddammit, he didn't even pay for his fucking ticket!!!!!!

You know what? If I ever witness a situation like this I am going to help out however I can. I'm not going to silently watch. "Oh, but you don't want to get involved, he could pull out a knife or something." Yeah, don't give me that shit. He could also pull a knife on that girl who is asking him to stop fucking groping her. What should be done, sit there, let some insane asshole grope you? I don't think so. Especially when the solution could be as simple as calling the person being annoyed to come and sit with you. Perhaps I should have just gotten up and moved, engaged a stranger in conversation. And hope to god that doesn't enrage the lunatic further.

Maybe I should have ignored him. I did. For the first two minutes or so of him screaming about helping me with my story. Then what? Do you continue to ignore the nut-case knowing that he will probably soon blow-up due to you ignoring him? That was what was coming.

I swear to god, I want to start carrying a knife or pepper spray or something. I want to learn how to fight.

And goddammit, I do not want to ride the motherfucking bus anymore. I want a car. The next person who touches me on the bus, I don't give a shit what their sanity or intelligence level is, I swear to god . . .

Kinda want to cry right now. Can't. Need to go about my day.

Motherfucker. Goddamn motherfucker. "Why can't I touch your leg?!" Because I DON'T LIKE TO BE GROPED BY MOTHERFUCKING LUNATICS ON THE MOTHERFUCKING BUS GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!! What makes you think you have some sort of right to grope my leg?!!! Get the fuck away from my crotch and FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING FUCK!!!!!!!!
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    still rather pissed