January 8th, 2003


A forward I found while cleaning out some email.

I've gotten this a few times but it still amuses me.

Heaven's Voice Mail System

Thank you for calling Heaven,

For English, Press 1.
For French, press 2.
For Spanish press 3.
For all other languages, press 0.

Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for Requests.
Press 2 for Thanksgiving.
Press 3 for Complaints.
Press 4 for all other inquiries.

I am sorry; all of our angels and saints are busy helping other
sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us, and we
will answer it in the order it was received.
Please stay on the line.

If you would like to speak to:

God, press 1.
Jesus, press 2.
Holy Spirit, press 3.

If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are
holding, press 4.

To find a loved one that has been assigned to Heaven, press 5,
then enter his or her social security number, followed by the
"pound" sign. (If you receive a negative response, please hang
up and try area code 666).

For reservations at Heaven, please enter A-C-T-S, followed by
the numbers 2-3-8.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the
earth, life on other planets, and where Noah's Ark is, please
wait until you arrive.

Our computers show that you have already prayed today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday. Please pray again on Monday after 9:30 am.

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance,
please contact your local pastor.

Thank you, and have a heavenly day.

(no subject)

I just saw Empire Records such a good movie. I liked it.

Now I am at Kinko's with Azzy. He is typing a lovely coverletter for a fax.

I am very high thanks to my roommate.


I'm going to get food with my boyfriend soon.

Wow. I am really really high.
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