July 2nd, 2003

kushi-kushi

Random thoughts and stuff. Nothing too exciting.

I really am a fucktard sometimes.

This isn't meant as a beating-myself-up statement, more of a statement of fact. I am a dumbass sometimes. So are you. Don't tell me you aren't. It's part of being human.

There is a choice. You can beat yourself up over the mistakes you've made in the past and continue to make the same damn mistakes you always make since you are too busy beating yourself up over your failings to learn anything from them. You can realize that the past is past, there is no need to beat yourself up over it, just learn from it, move on, and do better next time.

I need to stop beating myself up so much. Whether is is about money, not paying enough attention to someone, saying something I think is dumb, being too lazy to put on sunscreen, whatever.

I'm too smart to waste that kind of energy. I should be focusing much more on learning from my mistakes, applying the lessons I've learned. You know, behaving intelligently.

I guess this wasn't quite as random as I thought it was going to be.

The thoughts that come out of sunburned brains. Brains that would not be sunburned had their owners decided to put on sunscreen despite the seeming cloudiness in Del Mar. ~grins~

Oh, and pretty much totally unrelated . . . why the hell can my body be this tired and my brain be this awake and active?! Why?!!! I'm exhausted. I want to sleep. I want the interesting and thought-provoking thoughts to come tomorrow! After I have rested.

I'm going to make tea. I am suspecting these herbal sleep aid things are crap. Maybe I should give them more time. Hell, it was worth a try, right?

I thought I was going to say something else. I can't remember what exactly. I don't think it was anything big.
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