Plus it is probably good that I rest tonight.
My sister called to see if I wanted to get lunch so that was nice. I'd already eaten but I went along for the ride. Apparently Rudy has been mentioning her moving in again so that is now an option again. I told her to let me know what she is doing by the end of this month so that I have a little notice as to whether or not I am moving in with her.
I talked to my dad a little while ago about what he found out about the dental stuff. Basically, I need to get my own plan since I'm 24. We talked about some other stuff like what I am doing in school and what I have been up to. My dad mentioned that maybe when he gives me the paperwork for the dental stuff we could meet up and get coffee. He also invited me and ChaosStream to see a movie on base with him sometime. He also wants to come see me at Frightmare. He also apologized for not being at the pageant and my high school graduation. He hadn't known until after the fact. I knew that already but it was still nice to hear. He told me that he would really like to be at my college graduation and that he would stay at the back so as not to create drama. You know, with the other half of my family. He also said that it was nice that I still considered him family. (I had mentioned something about him letting me know when he wants to go to Frightmare so I can get him in since he is a family member.) He also said that he doesn't want to talk about my mom with me, he doesn't think it is right. I told him that I really appreciated that. (I had alluded to the fact that my mother and I had our difficulties.)
So . . . it looks like I will probably be hanging out with my dad sometime in the next few weeks. I don't know what I am going to do about the living situation stuff. I suppose I will hope that it doesn't come up for now. I don't know. I don't like that option but I just don't know what else to do right now.
Talking to him brought a mix of emotions. I don't know if I can really discuss them here right now. One thing I can say . . . I've missed him.
I so wish I could see my therapist this week, I could use some time to talk this stuff out. I actually wish I could talk a bit with someone on my mom's side of the family that could be kind of objective about this and has some knowledge of the situation, maybe think of another way to handle this that I haven't thought of yet, but . . . I don't know.
I don't know if I'll even be able to tell my mom about this for now.
I hate this. Fuck you, Rock. Fuck you, Hard Place.
Anyway, I should end this, my eye is starting to get fuzzy.